July 24-26 Review | Rock Star Index | August 7-9 Review
Rock Star: Supernova
July 31-August 2: Won't you (forget About her)?
Monday, July 31: At the mansion, the contestants toast Phil, and Storm raves about Patrice's performance. We try to manufacture some ugliness by Toby saying in front of everyone that he thought Zayra was going, but Zayra diffuses that situation by saying she agrees. Fizzle, fizzle.
Later, the guys worry that "the chicks are overrunning" them, since three guys have now been axed vs. only one woman. Lukas says that this week they'll show everyone that "boys really rule." I expect someone to pipe up with, "Girls stink!" and "They have cooties! Eeuw!"
In a remarkably touching scene, Magni, Dilana, and Josh watch videos of Magni's 10-month old son, and Magni starts crying a little. Awwwww. The man from Iceland is anything but frozen.
Jason stops by the mansion to hold a "stagecraft workshop" - i.e., critique everyone's performance from last week. So the contestants all have to watch the videos of their performance and talk about how they could improve. At first I think that we're going to see comments for each performer, but we only see seven: Toby ("You're like a kangarilla!" Storm says helpfully); Josh (still trying to balance who he is with what Supernova wants); Storm (who is told she's obviously got experience leading a band - duh); Zayra (for whom Jason can say nothing); Jill (who takes everything personally and Will. Not. Shut. Up.); Dilana (who bizarrely thinks that her performance was so horrible that she starts crying about it); and Patrice (who claims that she "gets" what she has to do now). I guess the comments for Lukas, Dana, Magni, and Ryan weren't very exciting. No Dana drama this week. Darn.
At song selection, Lukas decides to be a bad boy and just bring the songs out to the pool area for everyone to discuss instead of leaving them on the official bulletin board. This is seen as proof that he's "not into rules." Er...was there ever a rule that said that the songs had to stay in that room? Regardless, I'm oh so unimpressed with this act of flagrant rebelliousness.
Patrice chooses Stevie Wonder's "Higher Ground," which was covered by the Red Hot Chili Peppers (see Chris Daughtry during last season's American Idol, when Randy declared that "you made the song your own" - snort). We then find out that Tommy Lee will play drums on this song. I suspect that he will be far more exciting than Patrice. We also find out that Storm will sing David Bowie's "Changes," Josh will sing Sublime's "Santeria," and Zayra will sing (I kid you not) Tommy Tutone's "867-5309/Jenny." I've determined that Tuesday's performance show will be enjoyable for the pure train wreck potential.
At rehearsals, Storm puts together a softer, non-rock version of "Changes," Josh brings a reggae-soul feel to "Santeria," and Zayra...well, we won't talk about Zayra's "867-5309." Or better still, let house band leader Paul sum it up: "She's taken everything that was cool about the song and gotten rid of it."
Over the closing credits, several of the guys are seen attempting to shoot hoops in the basketball court. Let's just say that I bet the girls could beat them at that, too. Nyah.
Tuesday, August 1: Brooke is boring in black tonight, and Dave is holding and kissing a stone tiki god (or whatever it is). Oh...a rock god. Get it?
This does not bode well.
Patrice Pike (sings Stevie Wonder's "Higher Ground," with Tommy Lee on drums): The vocals are fine. The performance is nothing but meh. A faux mohawk does not mean you can just meander about the stage and point to Tommy Lee for the entire performance. Oh, wait, she fell on the floor once. How exciting. Dave says that her performance proved that there are about eight contestants who would disappear fronting Tommy, while Supernova thinks she did a pretty good job. We started drinking early tonight, did we, boys?
Josh Logan (sings Sublime's "Santeria"): Nice job, and he's staying true to himself with this reggae/hip-hop tune but, ummm...the beatbox thing? No. This is not Supernova. The rest of the song, however, is giving me a strong Elliott Yamin vibe. Will he break out into "Moody's Mood for Love" next week? Dave and Supernova all give him kudos, and I'm wondering, "Okay, who are they out to get tonight?"
Dilana (sings Bad Company's "Can't Get Enough"): She trades in her Goth princess clothes for a leather jacket and pants that are equal parts leather and black hose. Oh, my. She brings the energy this show needs, stomping up to Supernova themselves to sing to them, then riding on her boyfriend's (yes, that was her boyfriend) shoulders back to the stage. But while I love the Tina Turner-esque singing near the end, and she's far more dynamic than most of the other competitors, this isn't my favorite performance of hers. It's sort of the throwaway, feel-good song you'd do for your first encore, maybe, and her vocals suffered from all the bouncing and stomping over to Supernova. I enjoyed watching Jason appreciate her, uh, assets when she turned her back on him, though. Heh. Dave asks if she's wearing his pants (er...no comment), while Tommy and Gilby praise her and the audience goes wild.
Toby Rand (sings Nirvana's "Pennyroyal Tea"): Eh. It was adequate. As Dave points out, it's anticlimactic of him to walk out into the audience after Dilana has just done the same thing (only better). In fact, I was wondering what the point of that was, although Toby claims that's how he felt the song needed to be performed at the end. I'm thinking, "Anemic royalty indeed."
Zayra Alvarez (sings Tommy Tutone's "867-5309/Jenny"): Let's see...a leopard-skin swimsuit thing, gold gloves up to the elbows, and a black cape. A Blondie-esque performance that's not particularly in tune. I don't know whether to laugh or shoot myself. Lukas chuckles, Dave gapes, and Jason is dying. Oh, Zayra, Zayra. In a twisted way, I'm going to miss your crazy, clueless self when you're gone. Dave is so flabbergasted that he and Supernova ask for a commercial break when she's done. When we return to them, they say that they like the fact that she changes it up every week, and that's the reason they keep her around. Oh, and Tommy wants to mud wrestle with her, too. I didn't need that image, either.
Magni (sings Coldplay's "Clocks"): They speed up the tempo of this song so much that I think the entire house band is going to take off and fly around the stage. Magni's vocals are off, and I've now decided that no one should perform Coldplay songs except for Coldplay. But I give him a break because he's missing his little boy, and Supernova apparently feels the same way, because they call him "awesome" and say that he "sets the bar" for everyone else. They then inform him that they're flying his family over from Iceland for a visit. Magni thanks them and says, "I'm going to go cry now." Awwww.
Jill Gioia (sings Simple Minds' "Don't You (Forget About Me)"): Screech, screech, scream. Thank you for ruining a perfectly good Simple Minds tune. Go away. Now. No one likes her singing, and Dave says that her performance would be the one where people would get up to get a beer. I'm thinking it's one where people would throw the beer cans. Methinks this is the person that Supernova is out to get tonight, and for good reason. Blech.
Ryan Star (sings R.E.M.'s "Losing My Religion"): I don't like this song, but the arrangement (Ryan on baby grand, Paul on keyboards) is very pretty and appropriately intense. I liked Suzie's version better last year, frankly, but if he doesn't get the encore Wednesday, something is seriously wrong. Everyone thinks it's his best performance so far, with Tommy helpfully declaring that that song will get Ryan laid.
Lukas Rossi (sings Hole's "Celebrity Skin"): A song with a line like "When I wake up in my makeup" would seem tailor-made for Lukas, but he mumbles and grumbles the entire thing and he sings with his back to the audience for two-thirds of it. What the...? When asked about it, Lukas says he was uncomfortable with the lyrics. I presume that means he was having a difficult time remembering the words and was looking to the drummer for cues. Dave and Supernova aren't thrilled, but they say he's built up some credit with them already. And he has tons of online fans, so he won't be hitting the bottom three any time soon. Darn it.
Storm Large (sings David Bowie's "Changes"): I don't know. I like the vulnerability she brings to this somewhat stripped-down version and the fact that she's finally singing something without bringing the sexpot act, but this song has such a limited range that, vocally, it bores me. Dave and Supernova are wowed by it, though, with Dave saying it's his favorite performance of hers yet. Some people are easily pleased, I guess.
Dana Andrews (sings The Who's "Baba O'Riley"): If the Who was ever performed on American Idol by a good contestant, this is what you'd get. She's okay, but it still seems like she's a little girl playing at being a rocker. When Gilby asks her if she's now ready to be a rebel, she declares, "Hell, yeah! I'm getting a tattoo tomorrow!" Mmmm...in this scenario, a real rebel wouldn't get the tattoo. Does your mother know about this?
My top three of the night:
1) Ryan - Not my favorite song, but a nice rendition
2) Dilana - I'll take her subpar performance over the others' mehness any day
3) Storm - Not the most vocally interesting choice, but a heartfelt performance
My bottom three:
1) Jill - Leave. Now.
2) Zayra - I'm beginning to enjoy your wacky antics, girl, but you are so not right for this band
3) Josh - Right performer, wrong band
If Josh had performed a more rock tune, my number 3 slot would have gone to Lukas, because turning your back on your audience for most of the song while mangling the lyrics just doesn't cut it.
At the end of the show, though, we're shown that the initial bottom three are Toby, Jill, and Zayra. Toby?? Oh, yeah. I forgot about him. Which is obviously what the voters have done, too.
My prediction: Either Jill or Zayra (or both) will go. Does that really surprise anyone?
Wednesday, August 2: Well, so much for that prediction.
I spend half the show figuring out that yes, those really are pheasants on Brooke's turquoise blouse.
We find out that at the mansion after the last show, Lukas felt really bad about his performance and how much he screwed up the words to his song. "I'm only human," he decides, and I'm wishing J.D. would come back from last year with his "human being" tattoos and tell him, "We're just human beings being human."
Dana shows off her treble clef tattoo, which is located just above her right hip bone. Dave tells her that she should next get a bass clef on her backside. Oh, you shameless flirt, you.
Meaningless blather with the rest of the rockers is followed by Jason asking them who they think deserve the encore. Maybe three raise their hands, and Jason said they should all have confidence enough to want it. Er...even Lukas? As everyone thought, Ryan gets the encore, and he sounds even better tonight than last night and everyone goes wild.
We find out that Toby, Jill, Zayra, Dana, and Patrice were all in the bottom three at one point. So here's where it gets weird: Jill, Dana, and Patrice are in the bottom three. Ummm...okay.
Shrilly McWhine...er...Jill performs Heart's "Alone" to show her "deeper, richer tone." What she shows is that she can struggle a bit with lower notes and can shriek the chorus. Of course, this gets her a standing ovation from Supernova. [*rolls eyes*]
Dana admits that she skipped out of rehearsals with the house band because she was at a spa, and Jason applauds her for such a rock 'n roll act of defiance. She then performs a totally blah rendition of the Animals' "House of the Rising Sun" where she struggles with her pitch throughout the song while reminding me of Rock Star Barbie.
Patrice sings Jeff Buckley's "Eternal Life." I really like her vocals the best of the three - I think she's the first person there who has managed to sing a song I didn't know and enunciate so I can understand all the words - but the woman has no energy on stage whatsoever. Don't just stand there and sing. Do something.
Before Tommy announces who goes home, Gilby tells everyone that the contestants who remain after tonight will be given a new Supernova track that they will individually have to write lyrics and melody for. This could be interesting. I have to wonder what Zayra will write.
Back to the bottom three. Jill is told she's safe, even though she's made several horrendous creative decisions in the past few weeks. Dana is told she's improved, but the band isn't sure that she'll improve enough by the time the show ends. Patrice is told that she's got great vocals, but the band can't ignore the fact that, fronting Tommy Lee, she still ended up in the bottom three. I'm thinking, "Then what's the point of this bottom three sing-off exercise, anyway?" And then Dana is told she's going home.
Dana has the most gracious exit of anyone so far, and Jason basically tells the remaining contestants that even though she's the youngest, she's the most mature of any of them. And yes, I'm sure that's going to make all the difference to these rockers over the next few weeks.
Review © 2006 by Patricia Lowhorn. For comments, e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
July 24-26 Review | Rock Star Index | August 7-9 Review